Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I Love My Flood

Splish splash, I was arrested for indecently taking a bath in my backyard.

I love our new pool. Okay, so it was only temporary, and it was only about 3 inches deep, but I loved it while it lasted.

We've been having amazing freak weather all summer and according to something I either heard, read or had subconsciously implanted in my head by superior forces, we had more lightning strikes in June than we had in all of 2007.

A massive thunderstorm today flooded our patio, dropped a few big hailstones, and turned the rest of our backyard into a swamp. The funny thing about this flood is that our basement didn't see a drop of water - despite what happened in early June.

As soon as the storm ended I went out to sit around the patio, splashing and relaxing. I waded out into our marshy backyard; the warm water felt good on my feet. Mud squished between my toes and streams of bubbles forced their way to the surface.

Don't touch the leopard frog. They will slice you in two when cornered.I decided to wander through the grass and see what became of the big anthill. The poor ants were drowning and using my legs to escape their liquid demise. Crickets were floating on the water's surface, hopping out of the way with each step I took. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark flash shoot past me. At first I thought it was some sort of speedy salamander. Then my eyes focused on the adorable leopard frog, sitting so naively still, hoping to evade me. He used all his skills - his spots, his green-ness, and his unblinking-ness to no avail: I saw him plain as day.

Crouched in the mucky grass I watched him swim, turn, and swim in the other direction. He looked cute and delicious. By now the ants were up to my epiglottis and I had to retreat. I brushed off the stowaways and enjoyed the pool in my yard until the sun went down. I loved it so much I'm now trying to devise a way to flood my backyard without alerting the water company, or offending any New Orleans residents.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Air Is Neat

Plastic. It does an air intake system good.

The DeLorean is cool - and in more ways than one. Forget the stainless steel body, which makes the car better-suited for flux dispersal. Forget the alternate-1985-Biff-head-cracking gullwing doors. The DeLorean, essentially, has a cold air intake.

Cold air intakes are designed to pull cool, outside air into a vehicle's engine instead of using the hot air surrounding the engine. Why is that good? Science! Cool air is more dense, and therefore contains more oxygen, which results in more power when ignited.

The DeLorean pulls its air from the passenger side quarter panel at the rear of the car. The cool outside air then passes through an intake hose, through the filter, and into the engine where it mixes with fuel and explodes.

Explosions - it's no wonder guys like cars.

Ignore Red Green when it comes to cars. Duct tape doesn't work.But I've been having trouble making explosions in my DeLorean this year. For six weeks I was unable to start the D, and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out it was this piece of crap's fault. The intake hose, which had been taken off and put back on more times than Oprah's chub, was split and dented so badly, air couldn't pass through it.

I logically worked through the process discovering that a) I was getting spark and b) I was getting fuel. So what was left? C! I mean, air. With a new air intake hose in place, life-giving oxygen rushed into the combustion chambers and exploded harmoniously. The D started instantly.

All of this leads me to conclude that I like air. Two Martini-thumbs up for air, and two Martini-thumbs down to pieces of crap.

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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hyper For Hyperdunks

Old, undesirable Nike looking for love with new McFly hyperdunk.

I'm hyper for hyperdunks - shoes so fantabulously nerdy they shouldn't exist - to replace my malnourished, neglected Nike's. And the new Nike Back To The Future "McFly 2015" hyperdunk was almost the shoe of choice.


If you haven't heard already, the new Nike basketball shoe is sweeping the footwear world like no other shoe. Why? Because it's ultra cool, mega nerdy, and produced in massively limited numbers.

In April 2007 I received an email from Kev, the same Kev who hooked me up with the idea for 2005's self-perpetuating Zombie walk. Knowing I was a huge Back To The Future nerd, and being an extraordinarily thoughtful fellow, he sent me a link to a wild shoe petition.

The site was www.mcfly2015.com, an online petition started by Michael 'Mickey' Maloof and his brother to convince Nike to make the self-lacing Nike Air Mag that Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. I signed the petition immediately, and in the ensuing nail-biting months about 40,000 others followed suit.

On July 2, Nike released 350 pairs of the McFly hyperdunk in California, and plans to release only 1,000 more later this month. Within hours the $240-shoes were fetching thousands of dollars on eBay.

That's right. THOUSANDS. And NO, they don't have power laces.

Even still, I couldn't stop my panic-induced freak out as I began calling Foot Locker's head office, and every other leading and specialty (Zero Count) shoe store I could think of. Thirty phone calls later I learned that Canada would not be getting the new hyperdunk. My plan, to park my DeLorean out front of a store to attract more attention if the manager could guarantee me a pair, faded into salty, repulsive tears of anger and frustration.

Yes, this was upsetting news, especially considering it was a fellow Canadian, and his online petition, who convinced Nike to make the shoe in the first place. I contacted Mickey Maloof for more information.

During his talks with the CEO and president of Nike, Mark Parker, Mickey learned that they've got something up their sleeve. "The voices have been heard. Stay tuned." said Mr. Parker. This morning I asked Mickey if he felt slighted that Nike wouldn't give, or sell him a pair and he only had this to say: "Nike called me yesterday..."

That's where our conversation ended. No explanation. No further insight.

So, if you're as big a nerd as I am, hold off forking out a cleverly-priced $2,015 for the Nike McFly's because it seems the story isn't over. Nike's got a plan in the works. Yep, something's afoot, if you'll pardon the pun, and I'll see if I can squeeze anything else out of Mickey Maloof.

In the meantime, sign the petition!

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Claudia Wells Is #1

The exuberant Claudia Wells, always fun at DCS!

Celebrities sell. Watching my blog's stats I've discovered that the number 1 search that brings readers to my blog is Claudia Wells, aka Jennifer Parker from Back To The Future. I'm not sure if people are looking for information on her store, Armani Wells, 12404 Ventura Blvd., Studio City CA, 91604, Phone (818) 985-5899... or they're simply looking for a photo of Claudia Wells. Whichever they need, DMC&ME delivers! (As long as it's photos with me in them)

I first met Claudia in 2006 at the Chicago show, or DCS 2006. I talked with her a little bit, learned a little about her high-end clothing store, mostly by eavesdropping, and generally had a really great time.

This year, at DCS 2008 Gettysburg, things were a little different. Although the actors still mingled and chatted with us, there was also a strict schedule to stick to for things like signing autographs and taking pee breaks. And that is the reason I wasn't able to have James Tolkan, aka the awesomely strict Mr. Strickland, sign my copy of the Back To The Future trilogy. Suz and I were busy touring the battlefield Saturday, and I'm sure I'd be declared a slacker for not trying hard enough to make it back to the Hotel.

James Tolkan at DCS 2008.But I'm glad to say I was able to talk with Mr. Tolkan during dinner on the first night. However, I felt that he would've been more comfortable entertaining a crowd than having a 1-on-1 conversation with a stranger pointing a camera in his face in the middle of a field...with no police in sight. Now Jeffrey Weissman, aka George McFly (BTTF II & III) is a different story. It's safe to say Jeff has as much fun with intimate conversation as he does up on stage with a thousand ears listening to him. (And even more fun with frisbees in the pool.)

When he first approached me, I was a little shocked to see that Jeffrey (seemingly?) remembered me from the Chicago show. A few minutes later Suz, myself and Jeffrey boarded a tour bus bound for the battlefields of Gettysburg.

During our excursion we chatted a bit, and listened intently to our tour guide's enthralling telling of the one of the Grim Reaper's busiest 3 days ever. This is when I learned of Jeffrey's friend. A friend who, before passing away, had compiled a book of poetry written by U.S. Civil War soldiers.

Sensing our interest in the book which was just published a few months ago, he kindly offered to send us a copy. Before we left, he gave me his email address and offered to stay in touch. It was a fantastic way to end the DCS 2008 Gettysburg vacation.

Armani Wells website.

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This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.